Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Listen to what I have to say...

Welcome to my Toronto Maple Leafs Blog for the 2007-2008 season.

This Blog is my soap box...In this blog I will bitch, moan, complain and sulk about all things leafs. From Owners to Managers to Coaches to Players to Trainers to Fans to Ushers to Ticket takers to Shovel Sluts all the way down to the bottom of the list where Raycroft stands.
I am a leafs fan. And I HATE leafs fans...I fucking can't stand them. There are several types of leaf fans within "Leafs Nation" and as much as I love cheering for the blue and white I also love bashing these douches...

01. The sketchy middle aged Italian guy that always seems to get tickets from a "buddy". These guys always tend to sit behind you at every fucking game and spew coaching wisdom as if they were Paul fuckin' Maurice. These guys cheer louder for a free t-shirt than an overtime goal. They smell like old spice and always have one of those beers with the stupid sippy lids on them. They also have: Harry ear lobes, Leafs jerseys on under their leather jackets, that curly hair that's half black and half grey but completely resembles old man pubic hair on his junk (not that I've seen this before) If this is your dad/brother maybe tell him that his Purple section coaching is not helping and no one wants to hear it. and if this is you...then you suck.

02. The 16 year old "fanboy" with the "Domi" jersey on while his 14 year old girlfriend wears that cute pink (it's not really cute, it's actually a huge joke) maple leafs jersey. This kid probably got his tickets from his mom who in turn got them from some guy at her office that wants to bone her. This fanboy usually has the matching leafs hat that conveniently sits on top of his hair leaving enough room for his gay bangs to hang out the front. They'll sit in the Gold section while she sends text messages on her cell phone and won't see the goal being scored but will cheer just as loud as everyone else to fit in. He'll sit there thinking the whole game about how he'll try and hold her hand on the train ride home and maybe, just maybe squeeze her boob during that kiss goodnight...I guess I really can't get mad at the fact he got tickets from his mom. But I can tell you that if I have kids that dress like that and waste a ticket on his flavour of the week girlfriend I'll punch him in the throat.

03. The 20-somethings that get shitfaced at the game off $11 beers, wear toques that resemble Jofa hockey helmets and chant "go Leafs go" in the train station after the leafs lose 4-1. These guys are so involved in trying to look like a fan that they have no fucking clue whats going on. I'm not even going to get into this one. These are the ones that truly piss me off...They don't follow the leafs on a daily basis and only rehash stuff they heard from Pierre McGuire on TSN. Stuff like "Antopov's a Monster!" and "Sundin is gonna look good this year" you for nothing you stupid fucks.

You don't have to prove to anyone your a fan of the team. Especially me. So don't wear your leafs jersey over your winter jacket in February at an East Side Mario's before the game because we get it. you like the one cares.

Follow along with me this year as we watch the leafs shit the bed again. Post comments and let's start something here...(non sexual) because weather you want to admit it or love the homo

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